Daily Horoscope
by Little Contradictions
Summary: Eridan and Sollux find some horoscopes. I can't write summaries. First Homestuck fanfic, Redrom. Rated T for language and themes. It should be obvious by now, but its yaoi, so don't like don't read


**I DO NOT OWN HOMESTUCK, NOR ANY OF THESE HOROSCOPES.**

**Just The Horrible Writing.**

**Let's Just Never Speak Of This Again.**

Eridan leaned over the side of the mustard bloods chair, blinking a bit as his face was bathed in the light of the computer screen.

"Hey Sol..."

The smaller boy sighed. "What do you want Eridan"

"Hell, I Don't knoww. I just wwanted to see wwhat you wwere up to...

Wwait, wwhat are you doin' anyway? Wwhatever that is, it doesn't look like your usual codin' bullshit..."

Sollux sighed. "Well, Fii2hdiick, iif you must know, II'm lookiing at 2omethiing tho2e weiird human2 came up wiith..."

They both stared at the screen, where a strange webpage was pulled up.

The psisonic laughed. "Man, there 2hiit ii2 priimiitiive compared 2 our tech."

"Wwait, wwhat the glubbin' hell is that?! Wwhy are evveryones symbols iin that wweird ad thin'?"

In the corner of the webpage, a small, flashing box, emblazoned with the words 'Find out your horoscope today!' held the collective symbols of all the trolls.

"That2 2trange..."

Sollux clicked the box, and the webpage changed to a screen with the twelve symbols, with strange images and names next to them.

"The Fuck... 2un 2iign2? Horo2cope2? Mu2t be 2ome weiird human tradiitiion..."

"Hey, wwhat's wwith these wweird names next to the symbols? Also, Wwhy are all the blood colours wrong?! This stupid thing makes it look like I'm a glubbin' lowwblood!"

The shorter troll laughed. "Really, ED, how 2tupiid can you get? How the fuck would a bunch of alien2 know which fucking blood colour each of u2 have?"

"Oh, shut up Sol... They got you and Kan's right at least..."

"Huh... Iit look2 liike the2e are 2upposed two tell the future or 2omething..."

"Wwhat?! Howw the glubbin' hell does that wwork?"

"2ome 2tupiid 2hit about mapping the po2iitiion2 of the 2tars..."

"Reely? And humans believe in this shit?"

"Look2 liike iit." Sollux clicked on the yellow icon. "Let'2 2ee what iit 2ay2 about you, Mii2ter Aquariiu2."

He scrolled down and snickered. "Here2 your horo2cope for today, fii2hdiick: Your biig, wiild, 2eemiingly iin2ane iidea2 are out iin the open now - and gettiing a 2urprii2iingly po2iitiive receptiion! Don't be 2hy; you need to take crediit for the2e beautiie2 before 2omeone else doe2."

The seadweller snagged the mouse from the mustard blood and clicked on 'Gemini'.

"Wwell, Sol, if you reely want to be that wway, then here: You knoww more people than avverage - and the people your people knoww are evven more numerous, of course! Noww is the time to branch out and see if some of them can become your newwest besties."

"Giive me that, a22hole."

"C'mon _Bestie_, Don't be like that."

The mustard blood tried to snatch the mouse from the highbloods hands.

"2hut up fii2hdiick."

"Givve it back Solllllllllllll..."

A small fight broke out as the two trolls grappled for control of the mouse, cursing and hitting each other, neither really noticing the many webpages it was flipped to.

It suddenly stopped when Eridan wrested the mouse from Solluxs hand and sat down in in the chair. He faced the computer screen while Sollux tried to unseat him.

"Noww, wwhere wwere wwe?"

The webpage was now on a site called My Opera, directed to a blog entitled 'Random Thoughts of Mine... From a Really Sober Guy :D'. The blog entry it was on was headed 'Naughty Horoscopes, Which One Are You? lol'.

The royal highblood held his arm out to the side as he scanned the article, pushing the mustard blood away with his other arm. Laughing. he started started reading the gemini entry aloud.

"'The biggest turn on for a gemini is: LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION', huh sol?"

"What? Ju2t giive me the damn mou2e already ED." Sollux said, his speech half muffled by Amporas hand.

"Oh, if it's shiny they will want it... If they are male and gay they will still be the greatest fuck your female friend has ever had..."

At this Sollux laughed. The laughter stopped and was replaced by akward tension, however, as the mustard blood feel backwards into Eridans lap, stuck in between the arm rests.

Seizing the oppurtunity, he grabbed the mouse.

"Giive me that... Now let2 2ee what exactly-

Oh 2hiit."

The other troll had gotten stuck in the chair somehow.

"Ummmm, Sol..."

"Fuck iit, let2 ju2t look at the re2t of thii2, okay?"

Not waiting for an answer, Sollux scrolled down to the Aquarius segment.

"They can turn you on ju2t by walkiing iin a room...They liike kiinky...Oh, Male2 never get the chance two ma2turbate because everyone want2 a piece of them."

The words "Shut up, Sol" were hard to hear through the laughter.

"Beware! They are fliirt2 and tea2e2 from HELL!... They liike back ma22age2 and haviing theiir ankle2 niibbled... They need you two make the fiirst move, but two not be domiinated.

Wow, It'2 funny how inacurate thi2 i2..."

Eridan sighed and looked down at the Psisonic.

"Yeah, most of that is completly wwrong..."

Leaning in, he kissed the other troll. Sollux, though suprised at first, started kissing back, and then wrapped his arms behind the others head, fisting his hair and deepening the kiss. Pulling back and nibbling the others neck, Eridan whispered into his ear.

"I'm completely fine wwith making the first movve."

**So...**

**I Was Thinking About A Second Chapter, But I Can't. 'll Try To Write Something Else To Make Up For It?**

**Review Your Opinions.**

**Also, This Was Written For My Outstanding Meow-rail.**

**Because We Are The *Palest Of Bros***

**Love Yah Platonicaly Bro.**

**LC Out.**


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